Lawyer Found Passed Out in Office Bathroom [The Bad Hire Ep. 14]

00:00:00 This is The Bad Hire, the show with the best stories about the worst employees. We fired him, of course. People are crazy. It's like an HR nightmare. Right? One bad hire stole all of it. Crazy stuff. She got what she deserved. Oh. I'm your host, Ken Monroe, and every week we dive into real-life stories from the wild world of work and what can happen when the wrong person gets the job. These stories aren't just crazy, they're cautionary tales about lessons learned the hard way. Let's get started. Hey, welcome back to another episode of The Bad Hire. I'm joined with Morgan and Emma.

00:00:40 Hi, guys. Good to have you guys again. Hi. As always. Yeah. So this is a podcast where we basically read and react to viewer stories. People who watch us send their stories in about bad hires, bad interviews. issues, anything to go bad in the hiring process or the firing process, I guess. A lot of great stories. It's been fun. And we've got some good ones today, so I'm going to get started. How's that sound? Sounds good. All right. Here it is. Let's get it. I found this one. The lawyer who went down in the stall. So a few... Bathroom?

00:01:20 Just from the... Yeah. Yeah. It starts off just... So a few years after law school, my firm hires this brand new attorney. Right away, the guy's loud, big energy, talks fast, always bouncing off the walls. The kind of person where you think this dude might be on something. Yeah. A couple of months in, my boss goes to use the restroom one morning. Bathroom. And finds him unconscious on the floor of the bathroom. At first, everyone panics thinking, heart attack, 911 is called, EMTs show up. Yeah. And nope, not a heart attack. The guy's high as a kite. Right. Oh. They haul him out. And when he comes back to the firm, he says, look, if you want to...

00:02:05 They say to him, look, if you want to keep your job, you got to take a drug test. Yeah. He refuses. Really? Boom. Fired on the spot. So three years of law school. He's doomed either way. Probably $100,000 in debt. Yeah. Passed the bar, got the job, and the whole thing blown up and ends on the bathroom, you know, in the bathroom floor in a stall. Wow. So one bad decision. That's all it took. The man literally barred himself. Ah, I see what you did there. You did it there. Very, yeah, very nice. Yes, I was going to say, somebody who was pre-law and also worked for a lot of different like lawyers and different stuff like that, people like that stand out because most of

00:02:49 them are not like that at all. They have no energy. They are not full. So I'm sure he's still got like a sore... You're saying that your typical lawyer is not built like that? No. Not at all. I was going to say, I was like, a lawyer? Yeah. A lawyer did that? That's crazy. It might have also been because I worked in domestic violence law. But yeah, that's crazy. That's something else. I don't know. Drugs are bad. Yeah. Don't do drugs, guys. Please don't do drugs. Don't do drugs. They probably could have given him a second chance too if he'd just taken a drug test. Yeah. I mean, I guess he knew he was going to fail.

00:03:30 Yeah. And I mean, they knew he was on drugs. That's absolutely. For them to even offer it. He was doomed either way. Yeah. He takes it. He fails. And he refuses to because he knows it's going to fail. Yeah. The reality is most companies when you... A lot of companies, I'll say. If you fail a drug test, it's not the end of your career. It's not the end of your job. Yeah. They'll try to get you some help. Yeah. You know, so if you open about it and you ask for help, you know, they're generally obliged to want to help, especially if you're good at your job. Yeah. If you're bad at your job, maybe not so much. Yeah. Yeah. Before we dive back into the chaos on the bad hire, this episode is brought to you by

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00:04:56 Oh, Lord. Oh. This one goes back almost 30 years, this person writes. Back when I was working retail, we had this girl at the customer service counter who handled returns. She'd been there for years, super confident, knew the system inside and out. Turns out she really knew the system. Okay. I guess that's one of the pluses for like really knowing. Well, they act like you don't know ball. Yeah. Trust me. Here's what she figured out. Every time a customer came in for a refund, she'd process it somehow. So the customer got their money back. Oh. And then she'd quietly pocket the same amount to herself.

00:05:41 Oh, my. So she was double dipping. Right under everyone's nose. So she was doing right in front of everyone. No one just, nobody caught on to it for a really long time. Whilst prevention started watching her, apparently, quietly, patiently, just watching, waiting for proof. By the time they were ready to move, she'd taken almost $30,000. This was 30 years ago. So that was a lot of money. Why did it take them so long to catch on to that? I have no idea. Yeah. Well. Maybe a long time ago, I guess. Yeah. 30 years ago, much difference. Yeah. Yeah. Much more manual systems. Yeah. Then one day. Then it could be that she was like crediting their credit.

00:06:28 Yeah. In the day, they'd be crediting the credit card. Yeah. Processing that. And then she was also pulling the cash and saying, yeah, refund it. And you just. Oh. Yeah. Without all the systems today to watch all those transactions. That's true. Just like never knows if I was doing that to you. Then one day, middle of the afternoon, the cops walk in. Right past customers. Right past the checkout lanes. They cut. They cuff her on the spot and walk her out in front of everyone. Just like that. Wow. Gone. Years of work, reputation, everything. Traded for $30,000. That's insane. One of the wildest things I've ever seen on the job. And the craziest part, she almost got away with it.

00:07:08 Mm-hmm. We always see these stories of people who steal. They always end up like making it obvious, like flaunting somehow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They don't know who are. They only had that one story where she was stealing clothes from the store, but then she'd walk in wearing this stuff that she stole. She's insane. That's crazy. It's not like she wanted to be caught. She was like, eh, this has gone on long enough. Yeah. This charades up. Maybe they forgot. I didn't like the new line that came in. Yeah. Tell me you wanted to restore. Yeah. That's crazy. Who's up? Am I you next? I think, yeah. I think it's me. Yeah. What you got? All right. You said that lady was double dipping. Yeah. I have a double dipping story too. Oh. It's not this one I'm about to read.

00:07:49 It's the one after, but anyway. My new coworker had a full psychotic break. We shared an office and at first it was little things. She'd mutter under her breath while she worked, but she wore headphones all day. So she didn't realize she was actually muttering. She was speaking loud enough for me to hear everything. So she was like talking to herself, I guess, too loudly. Yeah. Not crazy. Yeah. People do that a lot here. I'm saying. But what she was saying was terrifying. Oh, okay. Things like how she wanted to unalive everyone in the office. Oh. That's not like, oh, I have to send an email to Cindy. Crap. Right. That's a different issue.

00:08:29 Or which pin. I want to unalive Cindy. Or which pin would be the best to stab me or another coworker with. The kinds of stuff she's muttering out loud. What the hell? On top of that, she started hoarding anything that could be used as a weapon. I found a drawer full of staplers, piles of scissors. Even a two by four that had been used to prop a door open. It was just sitting by her desk. She just shoved up under there. I don't know. I went to management, but they didn't believe me. So, I borrowed a coworker's back. Yeah, because who believes that? That's real. Who believes? If you went to management and said, she's hoarding weapons at her desk. You're never going to believe this. Yeah. Whatever, bro. Come on.

00:09:10 Yeah. She's planning on stabbing me with a pen. Right. Like. You would look funny. You go there and it's like, well, she has six staplers. They're weapons. Yeah. Okay. She's stealing staplers. Selling them on eBay. So, I borrowed a coworker's webcam. Set it up on my desk. And left it running while I went to lunch. When I got back, I put the footage on a USB stick and handed it to my manager. Ten minutes later, he pulled me into a meeting and told me to head home. But to tell everyone I was leaving for a client visit. Oh. The next morning, I walked in and noticed she wasn't at her desk. Then I heard glass shattering. She was in the conference room with my manager and the CEO. She had thrown a chair into the glass wall and smashed it. I watched her grab her laptop and hurl it at the CEO's head.

00:09:55 It missed, but barely. A few people rushed in to restrain her until the police arrived. Holy cow. It was one of the scariest moments of my career. No, I would hope so. I would hope that's the scariest moment of your career. It's one of those stories where you're like, like him going and saying, like, you're never going to believe this. Like, of course he didn't believe him. And I see some of... We hear stories like that all the time where people just completely flip out when they're fired. Yeah, I know. And they deserve to be fired. And I see people in our TikTok comments talking about this is a fake story. I'm like, both of you to assume we're reading fake stories on this podcast. Do what? Both of you to assume we're reading fake stories on this podcast.

00:10:38 No, that's crazy. Clearly. You just never know about some people. I hear people freak out when they... You remember the story where the guy got fired for creating a little cocoon and sleeping in the box? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and he lost his mind. He's lost... Yeah. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think that was one of my stories that I read. I don't doubt that there is some storytelling in the story writing. Yeah. I feel definitely maybe some fabrications a little bit. Yeah. But for the most part, true. Yeah. For sure. All right. Oops. Okay.

00:11:20 Here's my second one for today. A new guy shows up for his first day and the vice president can't stop bragging about him. He's a brilliant hire, game changer. Just wait until you see him at work. On day one, he strolls in around 10 a.m. Same thing the next day. Works two hours, then leaves. By midweek, they've already booked him on a business trip, flying out Wednesday and supposed to return Friday. But at the last minute, he rebooks himself on a midnight flight. And when Friday rolls around, he texts that he's taking a different flight and then just disappears. What he didn't realize is that a bunch of us had worked at his previous employer. And sure enough, someone from that previous employer text messaged us and said, hey, didn't

00:12:05 you guys just hire so-and-so? Because I just saw him making copies here at the office. What? Oh, he's double dipping his job. So that's why he's only there for two hours because he's at the other company for the other time. He's going there at eight. He's leaving for, I've got to go get some coffees. Yeah. I'll be right back. That's insane. Turns out he was double dipping, working both jobs at the same time at two science and tech companies, no less. And while the NDAs weren't strict, you still can't work for a potential competitor simultaneously. They're competitors too? Oh, Lord. Two science and tech companies. I get this happening with remote work.

00:12:45 It happens. Yeah. People do this. They talk about it. Yeah. On Reddit all the time. Just giving advice on how to pull it off, how to get three jobs. Um, but. Just be a freelancer. Do it where you're actually going into the office. Now that's. That's some. That's. Yeah. That's some moxie right there. That's doing something. Excuse me while I go to the bathroom. I got to take a call from my other company. I'm going to roll in at 10 every day. Yeah. Yeah. Best I can do. And, um, you guessed it. He was fired from both of those positions. Wow. Just like that. The brilliant hire turned into a two for one. Yeah. Firing. Oh, gosh. That's one of those CEO to CEO calls. Yeah. Hey. Hey.

00:13:26 Just. Just. Just to let you know. We're going to let this guy go. So funny. That's insane. Yeah. That's my stories for today. Those are awesome. All right. I have. I have two today as well. So my first story is we had a new hire who soon after starting at the job didn't show up for two weeks. No calls. No messages. Our written policy said involuntary termination after four days of a no show slash no call. So HR tried to fire him. I even had to have. Oh, I even had them call his wife. She had no idea where he was. He was a top notch machinist. So I signed off on the termination reluctantly. We inventoried his tools, put his toolbox on a pallet and locked it in the shop.

00:14:09 Then week three, at the start of his first shift, he walked in. Calm as anything, he came straight to my office and asked where his toolbox was. I told him and I also told him he was no longer employed. He stared at me. And then a second later, he goes, if I leave now, I'm going to your house to off your family. Oh, my gosh. I called 911. Within minutes, a dozen officers showed up and handcuffed him on the shop floor. He ended up in the county lockup. Later, later, I heard him. Later, I heard he'd gotten into a fight with another inmate and spent time recovering from that, too. We shipped his toolboxes home. I later learned he'd struggle with drug and alcohol binges periodically.

00:14:53 He had kids. He had real talent. And it was a complicated story. And then this says he was an incredibly skilled person. And he was also undeniably dangerous. And it could have costed lives. So that day taught me a hard lesson about safety and judgment. And talent does not excuse it. That's what's crazy is that you make a threat like. Yeah. As crazy as that. And like, but you should have just called and said, hey, I'm not coming in. Like, he didn't shut up for two weeks and said nothing. Yeah. It could have been easily avoided. He was on a bender. Yeah. Like, just go. I mean, even his wife didn't know where he was.

00:15:33 Like, that's a scary thought. Like, you call somebody's wife and it's not like he's just, like, playing hooky. He's missing. Yeah. Like, that sounds like dangerous. Because she probably thought that he was at work. Yeah. Some of those days. For sure. I don't know. She's probably used to the benders. Yeah. Maybe so. Maybe. I didn't even think about that. But yeah, probably. All right. My second one is a little bit shorter. A few days into his new job, the guy turns his camera on during a company-wide Zoom meeting at 10 a.m. And where is he? Laying in bed. Not sitting up. Flat on his back. Head on the pillow. No shirt on. Holding his phone above his face. Nuzzling his cat? No. No cat nuzzling. The best part? Cameras weren't even required.

00:16:16 90% of the company keeps theirs off. But he chose to turn his on. Like that. When management asked him about it, his response was, Well, nobody told me what the working hours are. For the record, they were 8 to 4. And if there's a company-wide meeting scheduled during that time, you can probably assume that might be your working hours as well. Right. So wait, he went to a company meeting saying, Oh, I didn't know it was working hours? Yeah. And if I join a meeting and everybody has their cameras off, and I'm in bed, why would I turn my camera on? It's like it'd be the one time you would like. Turn it off. Yeah. Or just. It's like somebody joining our company meeting. I'm just saying. There is like some weird.

00:16:57 Pandemic of shirt off. Weird behavior. Cat nuzzling. Bong hitting. Nuts. We could just do a series on remote working. We really could. One thing that you could tell me that would shock me that some fool did on. Yeah. On a Zoom meeting. Yeah. It's just beyond me. That's insane. The craziness. Wow. You know, I think. When I think about. I listen to all these stories all the time. The one thing that kind of gets to me is like you never. That the person you interview. Mm-hmm. Is. Is so often not the person that you hire.

00:17:39 Yeah. They just. They put up a really good show. Some are really good at it. They're really good at getting through. And then. As they relax in the job. Sometimes on the first day. But, you know, oftentimes as they relax on the job. Or. As time goes by. They begin. You know. Their true self begins to reveal. Mm-hmm. You know. Many times I think you don't even know who you hired. Mm-hmm. Whether they were any good or not. Until much later. Yeah. For sure. Right. And then. And then we hear stories all the time where someone was great. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I think this short last where. You know. Person's great. Mm-hmm. And then. All of a sudden. You know. Yeah. Something happens. And they just go. They go off the rails.

00:18:20 Yeah. Um. You know. Hiring is. Is just so. Challenging to get right. I think. Yeah. You know. Um. For the people who do it. You know. HR pros and. Talent folks. You just. Like. What a job. I mean. Their hires can make or. You just. Can just. Make or break a company. Mm-hmm. And. And. Regardless. I don't think they. You know. You don't. You probably don't get through a career without. You know. Some. Train wrecks that. Yeah. That's for sure. Yeah. And. And. I think it probably happens to everybody. For sure. Mm-hmm. Well. That was good. Yeah. Good stuff. Good stories. All right. Well. We've got the $10,000 contest.

00:19:01 Um. So. You guys. Uh. We. You know. If you're. If you're out there. And you're listening. Or. You. And you have some stories. Like we were just talking about. Send them in. We want to hear them. Send them to them. Go. Go to the badhire.com. You can find an area on there. To submit. Your stories. You'll give us some information. We'll send you a link. I think. Is what happens. We send you a link. Uh. Uh. To a page. Where you can go and submit. Read the rules. All that kind of fun stuff. Um. And. You can stay anonymous. If you'd like. We'll know who you are. Because. You may win $10,000. You want to tell us who you are. Yeah. But if you just want to submit a story. And you don't want us to know. And you want to change the names. And all that. We're happy to do that. But if you do want to. You don't mind telling the story. Um.

00:19:41 We may invite you on the show. To read it. Um. You can do a dial in. Uh. It's kind of Zoom meeting. To come in. And. And do part of the show. Um. Be a guest. Uh. Or just submit it. And we'll read it. And um. If it's the best story of the season. We're going to pay somebody $10,000. It might as well be you. Yeah. So. Uh. Submit it. And we're doing a lot of outreach. Uh. Online. Um. To help. Uh. To find folks who got great stories to send to us. So if you get something from us. We. It's legit. And we would. Uh. Tell you. Check it out. Read. Respond. Send us a good story. Yeah. Alright. Well I enjoyed it. Till next time. See you guys. Bye. Bye.